Bulbyonder.co.uk

Press Release: 16-02-02 For Immediate Release.

Bulbyonder Announce Fantastic New Products.

Here at Bulbyonder, everyone's favourite blueyonder parody supplier, we are constantly striving to be at the ' bleeding edge ' of new technology. Given this is our published aim, we are proud to announce a completely new range of services.

The All New 56W Shine Unlimited.

Our entry level service, for people that are too tight to have brighter bulbs

The NEW 128W HomeLight ( Bronze Package )

For people that have our special sockets already installed, but for whom the 512W service would just be too bright.

The Re-Launched 512W HomeLight ( Silver Package )

A fully powered 512W fluorescent lamp, for that full on brightness feeling.

The NEW 1kW ( Gold Package )

An absolutely fabulous package offering gamers and warez downloaders our premier connection.

The Re-Launched 512W Worklight (A)lways (D)isconnecting, (S)urfing (L)imited package.

Aimed at the SME Business user, this fairly reliable worklight is a must for surfing those porn sites while stuck in an office.

CURRENTLY IN TESTING

We are still Beta Testing our Unlimited Brightness service, and we are experiencing some minor problems. These include ( but are not limited to ) Retinal damage & complete blindness as soon as you switch the system on. If we are able to overcome these problems, which is doubtful, as we are running out of technicians that can see, it will eventually be released to the general public.

The next phase of Beta Testing will be to release it for Politicians to use. We tried it on David Blunkett ( when he was Education Minister ), but as you can see, that test didn't go so well. And now, even the Labrador is suing for damages and claiming the need for a guide dog.

So more news on that one at a later stage.

That's All For Now. Thanks for reading.

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Kind Regards

Raphiel Worst
Bulbyonder Technical Support
www.bulbyonder.co.uk